As you are aware, I often write that self worth is” the key” to EVERYTHING you want, and during coaching sessions I often get asked by clients “But, how do you love yourself and/or what does that mean?”. Self –love is an abstract concept to most people, so that is why I have decided I need to explain it better. Other terms for self worth are self love, self esteem and self respect.

The bottom line is that somebody else can only love and respect us to same degree that we love and respect ourselves. So if you only attract “half baked” relationships, these relationships will be reflecting you and where you are at. And, the people we regularly hang out with are also a mirror of ourselves. (Sorry guys, I know you won’t like it but try it on!). There is also an old saying “Water finds its own level”. Relationships are the same. If you are unsatisfied with the people you have in your life, and the types of people you attract into your life you will need to RAISE YOUR LEVEL! Growth is often revealed when we decide to hang out with a different crowd and we are prepared to get out of our comfort zone.

Also think about this….All the disruption, ill health, physical and emotional pain that we experience in our life are messages to heal some aspect of ourselves and to grow emotionally and spiritually.

“Disease does not bring pain. The pain of your soul brings disease. Pain is good because it gives you the idea that you need to look at yourself. Use the pain”. – Annette Noontil

Let’s look at some self love measures and then you will be able to decide how much self respect you REALLY have….. but how honest will you be, as we are masters of denial? This is why an estimated 95% of population deny themselves financial independence, extraordinary relationships and/or inner peace and happiness. Which category do you wish to belong to?

All pain results from the questions we continually ask ourselves as human beings. Where do I want to be in life, why was I born, and what do I have to do to get to where I want to be? Why do I feel so restless and unsatisfied and why does happiness elude me? Self love is the key to finding these answers. It is also the key to being comfortable in our own skin and becoming VERY ATTRACTIVE to the opposite sex.

Some ways to love yourself and become a magnet to the opposite sex (and there are many more):

- See your amazing strengths and your inner beauty, with all your imperfections. See the beauty in your imperfection. Everyone and everything on earth is imperfect. Nature is perfect in its imperfection.
- Be aware of all the negative mind chatter about life, yourself and others that exists in your head. It is just chatter, not the truth.
- Be aware that the assumptions you have about yourself are only assumptions and remember most human beings play “small” not big. Nelson Mandela always said “We are afraid of our greatness”.
- See the funny side of negative and embarrassing situations.
- Spend time doing what you really love to do, without others.
- Eliminate “put downs” and gossiping about others (diminishing a third person while they aren’t present is a lack of integrity).
- Live a life of integrity. Structural integrity is the key to self
- Be organized and tidy in all areas of your life
- Eat healthy foods and get rid of any addictions- “Your body is your temple”. People who have high self worth do not take drugs, gamble, smoke cigarettes or have a drinking addiction.
- Stop being busy. Meditate regularly and relax– scientific research has proved it has a very positive impact on health and well being. We are physical, emotional and spiritual beings. Everything is connected.
- Learn from everything bad that happens to you without judgement.
“Everything happens for a reason and it serves us”- Jane Roder
- Give those who are closest to you permission to tell you how they perceive you, and be big enough to be thankful for their honest responses. Ask for 7 strengths and weaknesses and take on growth in the areas you see need attention. Others will often see you differently to how you see yourself.
- Throw out old possessions, paperwork etc, apart form crucial family heirlooms. Allow space for new beginnings
- Acknowledge your humanity and your divinity by looking yourself in the eyes close up for 3 mins everyday for 1 week.
- Complete with people you have had issues with in the past. Take responsibility for what you have created and apologize. It has nothing to do with the other person. You are accountable and you attracted the situation for your growth. It is not about them.
- Be one with nature. Sit with reverence and awe as man and science can never duplicate nature.
- Think of someone you admire and if you are honest you will see those aspects in yourself.
- Accelerate your development with personal and spiritual development (spiritual does not mean religion), as we all have blind spots about ourselves. It is your job to find them if you want a better than average life. Emotional and spiritual development is the same as going to the gym. It has to be done regularly to feel and see the benefits.
- Live life with the highest of values – accountability, commitment, honesty and integrity, trust, respect and attunement (understanding and managing emotions).
- Honour your commitments; don’t “dip out” unless you have a very good reason. Be a person of your word and a person who can be trusted.
- Stop putting authority figures and rich and famous people on a pedestal. We are all equal. You are also capable of amazing things.
- Be and do your best in life and don’t worry about what other people think of you. Not everyone is going to like you and that is the way it is meant to be.
- Get off procrastination, guilt, worry, anxiety and fear. They cause anxiety and depression and rob of us “the present”
- Understand your emotions and yourself as our inner world is what destroys our life, not others.
- Be on earth for others not for yourself, and allow others to also give back to you. Martyrs and rescuers have little self love just as those who hold themselves back emotionally and physically have little self-love. Find the balance of give and take.
- Allow yourself to be loved. Let love in. In the end love is the only thing we have.

All of the above are far more important and profound than me writing about relationship techniques. Techniques are just the bricks, but for the bricks to stay up and to not crack, a strong foundation has to be laid first.

If you wish to work on relationship issues, life mapping or any other topics by phone just email me and we will organise sessions to suit you. YES, I am being a stand for you to feel empowered and extraordinary rather than disempowered and ordinary.


For some great DATING & RELATIONSHIP techniques check out
www.great-ebooks.com

Luv& light

Jane Roder

www.relationship-remedies.com




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